To My Fellow Americans
To the people responsible for the 9-11 tragedy I say this: Are you kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped to tight?Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you know who you are messing with? Americans are so hungry to kill that we shoot at each other every day. We will relish the opportunity of new targets for our aggression.
Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last that started messing with us? Remember the little yellow fellows over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue.
Ever see Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way. Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns.
England? We sent them packing.
Ask your buddy Saddam about messing with the good'ole USA. the only reason he got away with the first time is because it's to hard to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his crappy little country. Trust us, Afganistan will end up in a giant kitty litter box.
Go ahead and try to hide Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps, and any place that looks and even smells like he was there.
Heck, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. That is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and very soon we will smoke your sorry goat eating asses!